Forgiveness in Relationships and Intricate Weaving of Minds
Last week I had a conversation with a lady and I have to admit to starting to feel really bored, as it moved along the lines of, if you are spiritual you need to love everybody, and have compassion and forgiveness in relationships, which is often hard for many of us if we have not walked in the same shoes, or have been in some very painful situations.
Perhaps it has nothing to do with having some concept of being spiritual that opens us more deeply to loving each other. Perhaps eventually it is a need for all of us to experiencing the pure act of aligning ourselves with love for all, and yes that is the person that may have behaved in a hurtful manner to us (where the real inner work for us resides) that opens us up to a true form of spirituality that is not depended of any religious or spiritual model.
Most of us concentrate on the mind stance, rather than the emotion, and that mind stance can take many form’s, bitterness, vowing never to forgive, all sorts of closed limiting behaviours. There are other’s of us that forgive on a level,that yes I will forgive you, but I will not connect in any way with you. That is not true forgiveness it is simply a judgmental mind stance playing God.
Anger is a very common behaviour in forgiveness difficulties and I say behaviour because it will take the form of projecting out, or in can be held within causing all sort’s of destructive thoughts of self hate. It is still aligned with the mind rather than the emotion. I struggle with the common known therapy of grabbing a hammer or an axe, perhaps it is a great way of expressing that energy, but we need to find a way to eventually connect with the emotion. No matter how hard it is to feel that raw emotion, it is the gateway back to inner connection and forgiveness for oneself as well as the other person. Sometimes this process can happen in a safe space as a skilled person is able to unpack the mind stance and support the emotional release and maybe even for a split second feeling more love.
Other people can simply take time out, or even be forced to step out of life’s general business. It is then the mind no longer has material to keep it busy, which allows for the energy of the emotion to surface, providing it hasn’t been suppressed to deeply. It is a good place to do this in nature if possible as it somehow has a supportive energy. As the energy rises huge vulnerability can be felt within, but again it is not a mind vulnerability it is an energy that somehow holds a richness in it as it opens the door to being present with the raw emotion. In that place the pain transmutes and love is felt deep within.The awareness of the minds chaotic thought system is also present but you are no longer so strongly aligned with it. In that process the mind opens into a space of awareness needed for the truth to be seen in the situation rather than perhaps a perception of how it should have been.. It is in this space that the soul discovers the amazing freedom of the mind that only experiences the now. This cannot be taught only experienced.
This blog is really very basic, and if you have managed to stay with me well done. However sometimes it is the most common knowledge, that we all know on some level in yet we spend years sometimes not being able to attend to the most important aspect of our inner life. And within that we loose something that is so important, and that is the inner connection to oneself. As we lose that inner connection to oneself life, no matter how subtle we are not open to the mystical elements within that would perhaps fit under the name of religion or spirituality.